GET THEE UNDER 120 -
WHEN IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR AN EATING DISORDER

Okay - so you've heard again and again that anorexia and bulimia just aren't worth all the life-long body damage they can cause. But what do you do if you have tried all the dieting and excercise you can and you just can't get your shoulder blades to pop?

Sure, some beauty blogs will tell you it isn't worth it blah blah blah but let's face it, they're just covering their well-insured arses. As any girl over ten can tell you, there isn't much you're going to accomplish in life as a fat chick - and sometimes you gotta lose that weight by any means necessary.

One good option is lipo. Unfortunately, a lot of the more reputable doctors refuse to perform it on girls under eighteen (again with the insurance). This is so unfair because honestly, the older you are, the more elasticity you lose - better to get those unwanted pounds off now! If your mother is a patient, you may have better luck with this.

Another option is to contract an intestinal worm. Yes, this may sound yucky, but boy is it efficient. And low maintenance too! All you need to do is sign up for one of those "alternative spring break" weeks in Mexico or Guatemala and then walk around in your bare feet a lot. You never saw a fat native, now did you? Think about it!

Of course, these options aren't available to everyone, and that's when you have to consider extreme means. I want to stress here that this is not for everybody - girls who are already taller than 6 foot 1 and weigh less than a hundred pounds should really stick with diet and excercise.

Bulimia - this is a great way to go. You still get the fun of the pig-out, but with none of the pounds! All you gotta do is get intimate with that finger and just watch those unwanted calories pour out of you.

People may warn you about damage to your esophogus and bones, but they're probably old and have forgotten what it's like to be young and un-slender. And just remember, if you're fat, your never going to amount to anything anyways - so what the heck? Right?



Anorexia is really the more taxing way to go, as it involves really psyching yourself up, or down, actually. A good way to start is by reading this blog daily and really just digesting everything (no pun intended!) we have to say. Also, try going into poorly lit dressing rooms, trying on panties that are too small for you, and berating yourself in the mirror. Just see if you feel like eating after that!!

So there it is, girls. You heard it here. Sure, you may have psycological and esophogal scars to deal with later on, but if you're hot enough don't you think you'll have the health plan to deal?
Live large, eat little, and stay Totally Hot!