Has anyone ever read the label on a bottle of Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap?
I did.
We're going camping soon and I think you can use it for dishsoap but just wanted to make sure. Instead of instructions though, there's a bunch of stuff about God and how we should all follow the Moral ABCs, which apparently include using a lot of soap.
Here all this time I thought my camp soap was non-denominational but no, Dr. Bronner's is very passionate about the "All-One", which sounds suspiciously like the diety worshipped in Walter Kirn's latest book, Mission to America.*
And it isn't just a little mention either. The entire label is filled with this teeny-tiny print that I bet most of us have never bothered to read before, and I'd say 90% of it is spiritual. Here is just a little sampling:
"Who else but God gave man Love that can spark mere dust to life! If you can teach each unforgiving minute, the Moral ABC that unites all mankind free, come hell, hate, ban, you'll enjoy God's spaceship Earth and do great work within it, and which is more my son you'll be a Man! A Man! All-One!"
I mean, this isn't just your regular loopy Christian stuff, this is like some Tom Cruise shit. Which is why I like it.
Stop by the comments section and wash your hands - we're giving out free samples of Dr. Bronner's Hemp Almond today.
* Walter Kirn is a gifted writer and I am not saying he stole this idea from the soap. Though it would be funny if he had. You should read his books, and decide for yourself.
6 comments:
That bottle always kind of freaked me out. As you read it, you can't help but wonder who the hell are these people? Are they dangerous? Have I just read some mind altering psycotic phrase? Is it for washing sins away? Is it related to the "cleanliness is close to godliness" stuff?
The writing on the bottle seems like it came from a LSD-swayed hipster who happend to go to church that day and everything just stuck with him/her since.
Quality soap nonetheless.
Drink it and you'll see god. I did!
PS: She's hot!!
Alright you clowns, the invitation was to wash your hands, not drink the stuff. Smellrat, you my friend are invited to wash your entire dirty self. God isn't impressed with a man growing fungus in his pants, nor with your drinking the Chosen Soap. Bad Smellrat.
Big-Head, you too, now that I think of it. Let's get that essence of mushroom replaced with the heavenly smell of hemp and almonds. And no more trying to smoke the stuff. God isn't impressed with that either.
Hey, Weeziner, I think you're turning into a control freak. Why can't Red and Rat use the soap as they see fit? Why must we always follow the rules? Why can't we spread our own wings and just be free?
Dup
hey there is a movie coming out about the soap. I guess Dr Bronner is kind of crazy.....
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